I’m back with another part in Adele’s Journey! And this time we’re on a big positive, kind of.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how I was struggling with body confidence and how I felt with my body.
I have now come to the realisation of what I actually look like, how I look when I eat and what I must look like when I wear clothes that don’t suit my body shape. Fortunately, I feel like I have mastered that for the best part and I am so careful about what I wear so that I don’t have anything hanging out or look like I think I’m skinner than I am. Because, quite frankly, I know I’m not.
I think I’m lucky to be moving back home for a while, I will be more conscious of what I eat but more so, how much I eat. I’ve now seen what it must look like when I’m constantly grabbing more food, and not even the healthy stuff, the really unhealthy stuff and it’s quite disturbing.
I can’t believe how it looks when I’m constantly grabbing food, not just slowly picking, but literally stuffing my face. I guess it’s something that I’ve never thought about it before but I think it’s something I will be more thoughtful of and think about what I’m buying.
Luckily, I have noticed a difference, apart from my weekend in Centerparcs when all went out of the window, I have seen little changes in what I pick up when I’m shopping. I avoid the aisles with biscuits and crisps down them as that’s when I go seriously wrong.
I’ve been waiting for that sign (I know, I know, I should just get off my ass and get down the gym and start eating healthier), however battling with things mentally can really mess you up, all that comfort food that you feel like you need, but really don’t, is just sitting there waiting to be eating.
There are countless times I’ve picked up packets of crisps and bars of chocolate when I’m having a bad or weak moment, then gotten home and thought “get a grip, you don’t need this” and thrown these unopened packets in the bin just so that I don’t eat it is unbelievable. It’s a waste of money and I know that I don’t need it, I just need to get in to the thought process of not buying them in the first place, which is evidently getting there.
For now, if I can get in to the thought process of not buying junk food to comfort myself in a bad moment then this will be an amazing start, even if this means that I don’t lose weight, this will come with time. The moment I start looking after what I put into my body, the sooner I can start losing weight and I will feel so much better in myself. My skin will look so much better and I will have loads more energy than I did before. I have already started seeing small changes as I am more conscious about what I am eating.
Sure, there are a fair few times that I have slipped up but this is to be expected. I’m addicted to something in them or there is something that is drawing me back in to eating it constantly. It’s a mystery to me!
I don’t expect things to happen overnight, despite how great that would be. I look forward to the moment when I feel satisfied to what I’ve achieved and managed to accomplish when sometimes it has looked like it will never happen. I get this feeling a lot of work, working to complete a task in a small space of time, it feels like it won’t come together in time but it does and the feeling is great!
It did really help that I had a week of good luck, everything went right and the feeling of that is so satisfying that I got the good karma I finally deserved. It felt like all of that hard work I had been doing for months and months had finally paid off and it was a great motivation to keep on going and keep on working hard and fighting for what I wanted. Which is exactly what I carried on doing and I’ve got a few exciting things happening in the next few weeks.